When Father’s Day Casts Shadows

Father’s Day. A wonderful occasion to celebrate very special men in our lives. A day to express our great love and deep appreciation for what they have sacrificed in their own lives to pour into ours. When life rolls out “as it should”, we cheer the opportunity and embrace the ability to share our love and gratitude for these cherished men.

However, when loss, for one reason or another, takes any dad from us, we are left with a vacuum of pain, unmet needs, and loneliness. Father’s Day becomes a gauntlet of hard. We just want to get through, or better, by-pass it altogether. Memories roll through my mind of many a Father’s Day spent in broken sadness for the lack in my father relationship. Now this year, our family faces a double-whammy with Dad Blaker no longer here to honor in person; quivering with the ragged sorrow of losing our son; and, sharing the pain of two little boys no longer celebrating this day with their daddy.

So, if you can relate to the angst Father’s Day can muster, lean in as we ask how we face these days that emphasize our own lack and loss. How do we get through this holiday without re-bruising tender areas of our heart? What, after all, is there for us to celebrate?

On a recent trip, I pondered this irony of a day of celebration for many, also being a day of pain for others. We soared over a landscape with radiant sunlight shining through a sky filled with plump white clouds. Though the brilliant sun shone continuously, providing warmth and energy, clouds randomly blocked light, casting scattered shadows over the landscape. Incessant light plus clouds, produced both areas of shadow and brightness. The parallels to what was heavy on my heart were quickly realized.

Clouds of circumstance cast shadows over us and seem to indicate a lack of life-giving Light. The disappearance of comforting warmth and direct light can give the illusion God has turned His face from us. That this shadow hanging over us will forever darken our path. We see others celebrating in the light the blessing of being together with their beloved fathers, and the shadow deepens. We long for the same bright experience in our lives.

We can find a variety of ideas for ways to maneuver through the holiday, but for us this year, and perhaps for you, there is but one answer. One solution: to focus on and celebrate the perfect Father. He meets every desire (Psalm 37:4) and supplies everything we need to live through this day and all our days with joy. Wait. Joy in our pain? Yes, but not a joy we muster up for ourselves, a joy skin deep we paint on our faces. Not a joy filled with fake laughter or boisterous gaiety. But a joy whose source is the Creator Himself. A supernatural joy. An unexplainable joy. A joy bubbling through the layers of pain to whisper, “But God”. He has cheered this valley through His marvelous love, compassion and salvation. He plants these seeds of truth in our souls, which sprout hope and produce blossoms of joy.

If we move our eyes off the pain, and embrace the promise that says some day we will experience healing and completeness in our Father’s presence, our heart finds comfort knowing the depth of these losses are not eternal. As we turn our focus from shadow casting circumstances to the Son, whose Light has never diminished, we remember His ceaseless presence and ability to meet all our needs. His truths stand steadfast. His promises to never leave us or forsake us remain intact.

In fact, with a love unimaginable, in the circumstance of lacking or losing an earthly dad, with tenderness God steps in and becomes a “father to the fatherless”. (Deuteronomy 10:18; Psalms 27:10, Psalms 68:5)  In Him, no one limps along fatherless.

The purity of our Abba Father’s love stands unmatched and lavish. (1 John 3:1) Because of His incredible love, He willingly sent His only Son, knowing the great cost to Himself and to Jesus. (John 3:16)  A Father and Son, who had been intimately bound together for all time, bore temporary but painful separation. God understands.

And where earthly fathers can disappoint, He never does. In contrast to our dads who don’t always understand and react with impatience or indifference, God, compassionate and gracious, is aware of our every thought, mood, breath, and hurt. Always slow to anger. Though fathers can withhold their love and act unfaithful to us, our Father abounds in love and faithfulness. (Exodus 34:6) As we open ourselves to Him, He comes in and heals every wound and fills any void left by a troubled father relationship.

Are you uncertain of your relationship with this incredible, intimate Father God? His Word assures us that to all who receive Him, to those who believe in His name, He gives the right to become children of God. (John 1:12) This is a joyous truth for everyone cheerfully celebrating “dad” this year. But a life-giving, healing, hope-filled reality for those hurting and lacking this Father’s Day. As we embrace these truths and gifts from our gracious Heavenly Father, we face the coming holiday with the radiance of His face turned toward us, as the shadow-casting clouds are pierced through by His powerful love.

A song of worship to your Heavenly Father: watch