4 Offerings of God’s Goodness in Relational Hards

There exist a vast array of hards we face in life. All of them bring varying levels of pain, uncertainty and testing.

However, there’s something about relational difficulties that take pain to a different level. Unresolved conflict with another makes our soul feel raw. Tensions wear our emotions to a thread. Rejection causes us to doubt our value and purpose. Betrayal tramples our ability to trust. Abandonment leaves barren land within us.

And the closer the relationship, the deeper the pain and ramifications when strife exists.

How do we bear up under relational hards? What does God offer us, to not just survive, but to thrive in spite of emotional pain from conflict with another? 

Though God’s love and gifts to us are immeasurable and innumerable, these four He offers to build a ramp to walk us out of the pit of relational brokenness and climb to heights of joy and peace.

1. God offers us forgiveness. We receive forgiveness for our actions and reactions that laden us with guilt for our part in the difficult relationship. He also offers us the ability and strength to forgive the other, which releases us from the prison of un-forgiveness. A prison where harm comes to only ourselves. Where bars limit our ability to move out of brokenness and into wholeness and joy. He helps us say “I forgive you”, without ever hearing, “I am sorry.”

2.  God offers us confidence in our identity. Relational conflict can leave us battling depleted self-worth. Wrestling with doubt about our abilities and value.  But who we are in Christ … beloved, cherished, redeemed, whole … revitalizes our understanding of self and purpose as we humbly receive the truth that we are a child of the King. That in Him, all of our needs and wants are met. We are able to release “who we wish we were, and live in the reality of who we actually are” in Jesus. (Priscilla Shirer) Empowered and victorious. When He appears, the soul feels its worth.

3. God offers us strength and perseverance. Relational hards seldom evolve or resolve overnight. They often require traveling a long road, demanding patience and strength beyond our ability. God will provide this supernatural perseverance. He aids us in carrying on daily tasks, holding the chaos running under the surface in His hands. If we cleave to Him as we walk through the difficulty, He will guide and direct, supplying just what we need, precisely when needed. He gives us steam for the long haul.

4. God offers us hope. Our hurt and uncertainty create a constant need for hope. We long for something better. When we’ve lived a winter of relational hardship, we crave signs of rejuvenation, indicating a season of growth and renewal. The possibility of God’s intervention sparks great hope. We cling to the expectation God will fulfill His promises to us. We hope in what God can do in our difficult relationship. Or, more importantly, in us. We know His plans for us include a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) 

And when no reconciliation is possible, hope remains. In Jesus. Our living hope (1 Peter 1:3-4). He empowers us to live without despair through our disappointment and loss.

Having lived with a broken relationship for decades, these truths were vital to overcome hurt and to fill a cavernous hole in my life with God Himself. Through His unfailing love, slowly, over time, He revealed more and more of the depth of these truths and wove them into my heart, until unmet needs no longer existed, wounds healed, and life commenced with a greater level of peace and joy. This miracle He performs for all who call on His name. In His way. In His time. 

Photo by Anh Nguyen on Unsplash