At times the hards we wrestle are not circumstances, but questions. One of those questions asks, “How can I, with all my shortcomings and issues, be effective in the kingdom of heaven? How can I, with my background, life experiences, and limitations, serve God and others?” Two roadblocks hindering our service are feelings of inadequacy and jealousy.
Apprehensions of “not good enough” can stem from what we perceive about ourselves, or perhaps others have told us. We lack in education or training. Our talents seem insignificant. Satan whispers that what we have to offer could fit on the head of a pin. We hear stories of spiritual giants and think, “oh, I could never do that”, and hang our heads, faith shriveling as we walk away from opportunity. Watching someone with a similar gift to ours shine as they operate in the spotlight, we pack our unused “talent” in a box, attach the label “not as good as”, and hide it in the back of the closet.
Sibling envy, another stumbling block, stands as unhealthy in our spiritual family as our physical family. Without warning, we get caught up in wanting a gift someone else demonstrates, even attempting to produce their gifting in our life. Or pouting, with arms folded across our chest, demanding what gift we want and declaring, “And I won’t do anything else.” Perhaps we burn with jealousy as someone’s front-and-center-stage gifts receive recognition and applause while our quieter, behind-the-scenes service goes unrecognized.
Truth proclaims, we are not authors of our own gifts and we are not in competition with each other.
In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30), the master assigns the scale of responsibility to each servant, according to their ability. Likewise, God administers and apportions ours. He deals with His children as the individuals He created, whose gifts, circumstances and personalities vary.
As God bestows to us different but distinct gifts, He doesn’t demand from us abilities we do not possess. But He does require we use to the fullest the abilities He entrusted to us. Not to benefit self. But to serve others and His kingdom. We may not be equal in talent; but we pursue equality in effort.
We don’t have to be a renowned teacher to teach. We don’t have to be an unrivaled singer to sing. We do not need to be acclaimed for our service to serve well. Whatever gifts we have, little or great, we invest in service to God.
So how do we break through the roadblocks of insecurity and jealousy so we can serve unhindered?
1. Acknowledge the Source of our gifts. Our talents, abilities and spiritual gifts are precisely that, gifts. We do not decide what they are and then strive to achieve them. God created us with our unique giftings, talents, experiences, personalities, and passions. All these come together, tailor-fit to fulfill the specific purposes He has for our life. We receive them from the Lord with joy, then offer them right back to Him.
2. Use our gifts in God-directed opportunities to the fullest of our ability. Whatever our passions, what stirs our hearts, is often the area in which God uses us. Ask God for opportunities to serve Him, doing the very things that bring energy and joy. We make the most of our resources, overcome our fear, and take a step of faith with what God has allocated to us. Whatever He directs us to do, He has already provided all we need to fulfill the task.
3. Remember, there’s nothing we can do to earn His love or approval. God’s love has no “hook”. His love is not based on how we perform or in comparison to others, but flows freely from the throne of grace. We offer and use our gifts to serve Him, not out of obligation, but as a response to all He has done for us.
Have any of you experienced the tension of this hard? At a gathering of my spiritual siblings, I was stunned at the discernment and insight of one of my sisters. And the edges of my heart began to reflect a hint of green. Through several conversations with my Father, He reminded me of the truths above, and brought me back to a place of security and peace of who I am in Him and His delight as I accept with gratitude the unique gifts He has given me.
As we break through the roadblocks of insecurity and jealousy, and exercise gifts of His design, through His empowering presence, we discover new found treasures, delights and peaceful contentment in who we are in Him.
Photo by Charnee May on Unsplash
