A hard brought on by the actions of another leaves us gritting our teeth and fighting feelings of vengeance. A hard brought on by a fellow believer adds a whole different level of hurt, perhaps coupled with disbelief and anger. Knowing we share this journey with real people who have real issues, just like we do, comforts us. However, when an attitude or weakness in them hurls pain our way, the sting is a bit sharper and the hurt a bit deeper. 

In a precious conversation with a hurting sister in Christ, she shared a compelling picture. Walking through several hards on varying fronts, she had experienced hurt and confusion, bruises and sorrow. She experienced both direct hits and ricochets off other’s hards, bouncing back, piercing her heart.

One of the hards involved a fellow believer who acted out of their flesh, rather than out of the Spirit of God who lives in them, resulting in a painful wound. Like, made me GOL (gasp out loud) when hearing the specifics. Painful. Ugly.

But she walked through the circumstances with her Lord. And, therefore, she could see and articulate a powerful truth. 

As she wrestled with the aftermath of the situation, her words rang true then and now. “I know that my name and the names of my family are written on the palm of God’s hand. (Isaiah 49:16*) I also know that the name of (the offender) is written on the palm of God’s hand.”

Just let that sink in for a moment. Being engraved on the palm of God’s hand symbolizes He is ever mindful of us. If you are in hurtful conflict with another believer, she who has caused you pain is loved by God. That individual is His daughter or son. They rest secure in His hand (John 10:29), and God will never forsake them. 

Though our flesh wants to see a payback, or a backlash, or in the least an acknowledgement that they were very wrong, the Spirit of God within us grabs the wrist of our fleshly retaliation and stills it with a pause. A caution. “Before you respond, remember this one also belongs to Me. Draw back from your hurt-filled place and see them through My eyes.”

Does this truth excuse the action? Absolutely not. Does this mean no discipline or recourse should happen? It does not.

But, as we catch our breath, still feeling the sting from a hurtful situation, visualizing the picture of their name engraved alongside our name on the hand of God, allows for time to be prayerful as we consider a Spirit-guided response. This nugget helps tip the scale from continued pain and feelings of retribution, to healing, as we let go of our grip on the offense, and grab on to God.

Paul instructs us in Colossians 3:13 to “bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” He’s talking to the church. Grievances between brothers and sisters in Christ are not a new phenomenon. 

The first step toward forgiveness and potential reconciliation with another believer springboards from this truth: the transgressor stands, alongside us, loved, forgiven and precious in the eyes of the Father. When this settles in, we move on with renewed purpose toward bearing with and forgiving grievances we have against them. Easy? No. But, as always, God will be present to help us as we bend the knee and pray “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

*Isaiah 49:16 – Though this scripture is speaking specifically of the nation of Israel, the truth covers all of His beloved children. C. H. Spurgeon reminds us, “These words apply, first of all, to God’s ancient people, the Jews (the accurate interpretation), but they are equally true of all believers (a valid application).”

photo by Melchior Damu @ Unsplash