What difficult thing do you wrestle? Against what hard do you struggle? Does a task God has given you appear to rise up with gnashing teeth and slashing tail? Is there a stress-causing challenge you wish removed so life would be pert near perfect? What seeming impossibility keeps you exhausted and fearful in its grip? Bottom line: what alligator are you wrestling?

When my husband texts early in the week and asks “what’s up?” and the response is “wrestling alligators”, he knows exactly what’s up: writing. Having zero training in technology, building and maintaining a website mirrors purchasing a box labeled “Engine”, but opening to find a gazillion parts with directions that only say, “Put all this together and you will have a powerful tool”. Uh-huh. Searching for what to share each week, listening for God’s direction, serving Him and others through this process can build feelings of anxiousness and inadequacy. 

But, I am learning to embrace the wrestling. Even finding enjoyment in the process, because a holy tension exists therein. Tension between my will and His will; my thoughts and His wisdom; my wants and His desires; my inability and His abundant capability. “Holy” because the tension keeps me searching for Him and His truth. Alertness to His presence increases and excitement builds to see where He leads each week. And trust deepens as He shows the way. Every. Time.

Where do you experience holy tension in your life? 

Do you feel stretched with the strain of a task before you, causing your breath to catch and your heart to race? Are you in a role that drains every ounce of energy and you want to turn your back and walk away? What step of obedience keeps you trembling, flooding with doubt and fear? Be at peace. He will provide exactly what you need. Trust Him to show you the way one step at a time; one moment at a time. (Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 41:10)*

Does holy tension vibrate around you because the lure of temptation to walk away from what He wants, toward what you want, pulls strong? Are you tired of fighting and just want to give in? The Almighty One provides an endless supply of power to do battle until the pull of that temptation in your life breaks. (I Corinthians 10:13)

Is there holy tension between your will and His will? Rest. He remains with you in the struggle. As the Potter, He molds the life you’ve submitted to Him until, over time, your will transforms to align with His. (Romans 12:2)

Above all, the gleaming treasure in all of our wrestling? God is with us. And He is for us. (Joshua 1:9; Zephaniah 3:17) Therefore, if He has us dealing with a scenario bigger than we can handle, we respond with thanks. He never intended for us to handle anything alone, but in all circumstances and situations, to bring the challenge into His presence, under His authority, and rely on Him for the assurance, strength, and wisdom needed to prevail. No matter how long it takes or how hard the journey.

He will also use a hard to build trust in Him, causing our roots of faith to grow deeper and stronger, as He affirms in our heart, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

As we wrestle through these areas of holy tension, we cling to the knowledge that He is our Abba Father and we are His daughters. The depth of His love for us, incomprehensible. Nothing can harm or take away all the love and privileges we experience as His child. (Romans 8:38-39)

If the eyes to our souls are open, every difficult circumstance and situation will reveal in greater depth, who He is and who we are in Him. In turn, this understanding brings us to a higher level of peace and joy and oneness. And as we grow in Him, those alligators back away, weakening in strength, shrinking in fear, eyes glazed in awe at the powerful glow of the glory of Christ emanating from us. (2 Corinthians 3:18)

*Reminder: putting your cursor over scripture references will create a “pop-up” of that scripture

Photo by Mathieu Cheze on Unsplash