Some days a hard develops just showing grace to rude strangers. To be forgiving to an acquaintance being “all about me”. To tolerate a slight from someone we respect.

But. A real hard ensues and intensifies when needing grace and forgiveness, again, for one close to us. For one we have walked this journey with for years. Whom we know well. Who knows us well. We face the hard of showing grace when challenged with “another”. Another display of selfishness. Another manipulation. Another disregard. Another pointed remark. Another occasion requiring patience from a well dried up years ago. Another blow to the same spot in our soul, re-bruising a forever hurt.

Those “anothers” boil to the surface ugliness within us we thought was gone; or at least sufficiently corralled and muted. But, BOOM, there they are. Responses emerging ugly. Loud. Emotions magnified under the lens of “another”. And the ugly has an inner voice, spitting, “Why do you take this? Why don’t you just have it out with them? Why don’t you write them off? Why do you allow this in your life? You deserve better.”

But, the Christ-in-us, pouring a continual, ever present, undeserved flow of grace into our life, patiently allows the ugly to simmer for a short time, until the flesh kickbacks die down and He can meet us in a quiet place in our heart to talk things over. He reminds us this person needs Christ-in-us grace shown to them. For we are the same as them. Human. Broken. Prone to sin. Blind to our own shortcomings. If He pours endless grace toward us, who are we to withhold that grace from another?

Then, with His help, we begin the work to bypass our “flesh response”, and see the soul of the offender. Rejecting our gut reaction, clinging to Christ-in-us grace, allowing that grace to overflow toward them, perhaps we can reach out and touch the heart of the “why” for their actions. Try to grasp an understanding of the flesh they are wrestling. The hurts they are covering. The struggles they are hiding.

When that happens? When Christ-in-us overrules the flesh-of-us, and the ugly, selfish response is covered by His sufficient grace and robe of righteousness, so we respond with His love, compassion and understanding? When that happens? The heart swells with unexpected love for the transgressor. With inexplicable compassion for them. Meanwhile, Christ covers the unfairness and hurts of the situation with His healing grace, for the offenses and wounds inflicted are real. 

It’s miraculous. Anything changed by the hand of God shouts miracle. That the ugliness in us can be quieted and displaced by His beauty and compassion is nothing short of a miracle. A heart attitude change from the hand of God. A miracle right there inside of us. Not physical that we can point to the wonder of the healing. But genuine. Palpable to our soul.

And the relationship with the offender changes. Maybe just a smidgen at a time, but morphing into something more beautiful. Because it reflects the way of Christ.

Even as we are offended and hurt by their actions, great potential exists we are offending and hurting someone else. And we recognize the grace shown to us for our own sharp edges that have slighted, hurt, overlooked, or selfishly poked a bruise into another, or that very soul. And we become the ones crying out for forgiveness.

And then. The dance. The dance begins as He, once again, forgives us. Heals us. Teaches us. Enacts another miracle of change within us. And our hearts overflow with gratitude for His love and grace. Tears flow as our bruised flesh is soothed by His touch and we’re overtaken by a humble, thankful heart. We dance in the miracle of it all. And pray that the next time. The next time, Lord. For it will surely come. Perhaps today. Perhaps within minutes of the dance. That time? Maybe we’ll get it right quicker. Allow the Christ-in-us to have at it with the flesh-of-us, so that in that moment when we bump against the sharp edges of someone sharing this journey of life and feel that flesh bruise, His glory will shine forth. Without delay.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash