Our journeys do not run parallel. We do not face the same hards, nor confront them at the same time. Envision hiking a path through soft meadows where birdsong swirls around us, butterflies dance from flower to stem, and the sweet smell of sun-warmed grass carries us along. Soon our journey wanders into wooded forest where deep shade cools our skin, the tops of pines whisper in the breeze as we inhale an earthy scent. Green moss clings to rocks and trees alike, and delicate ferns crowd the forest floor.
Then the path begins to fall away, gently at first, but soon becoming steep as we descend, the vegetation becoming sparse where the sun’s rays do not reach. The path becomes rocky and more treacherous as we maneuver into a barren, rocky canyon. Nothing grows. Nothing moves. We enter a dark valley, where shadows loom.
Life escorts us along varying paths up and down this scene. If we’ve journeyed long, we have experienced life in the meadows and forests. And we have encountered the treacherous, crumbling path down into the stark valley.
If you are on that descent or walk the canyon floor, this is not the time to ponder these words. Turn off your screen and let God feed your soul in another way today. Feel His compassion as He leads you through this time. His love and mercy are rich towards you.
If, however, you are on the path ascending close to the forests and meadows, enjoying a season of rest there, the challenge comes to us to be more aware of others on the path below us. God uses the hard in our lives to make us more sensitive to, and able to minister to others going through similar circumstances. (2 Corinthians 1:4)
But we are such navel-gazers, aren’t we? Even when determined to focus on God and others, our minds blink and revert to “me”. My responsibilities. My pressures. My stress. My issues.
Christ said many times in His teachings, “If you love me, obey me.” (John 14:15, 21, 23) Through obedience Jesus showed His love for God; and through our obedience we show our love for Jesus.
And what does He ask? What does He say is most important? “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-30)
The pull of the flesh produces navel-gazing; and our culture applauds. Yet, from Christ’s perspective, life’s focus is not on me. He says “Love me first, and others second”. Rick Warren opens his book about “The Purpose Driven Life” with these words: “It’s not about you.” Bam. Why does that make us scowl? Because our culture screams “You’re number one. Get what you want. Take what you need.” And our flesh agrees. Keeping our focus off of “me” is hard.
To keep chopping at that root of selfishness that wants to spring up over and over requires an intentional effort. Keeping our sensitivities open to those around us that God has placed in our life, and getting our focus off self, does not come easy.
Several years ago I was sitting at an outdoor concert with family. My mind was consumed with me and my troubles. A number of unexpected situations required a focus shift for several weeks, and the list of delayed responsibilities was growing faster than we had energy to corral.
Because the Holy Spirit was honing this discipline to slay self and recognize others, with intent my focus shifted to my family, outwardly enjoying the concert, but inside battling life’s hards. My brave mom venturing out after a terrible fall, requiring difficult procedures and weeks of recovery at home. Our baby-due-any-day daughter with three littles needing her, while mastering the challenges of the first weeks in a new career. Our son and his wife struggling through tender months after losing her mom to a fierce and unexpected cancer that descended on their lives, leaving not only a hole in their hearts, but a hole in the functionality of their family.
And another daughter and husband adjusting to life in the States after spending their first three years of marriage abroad in military service, now needing jobs and a home. All that hard just in our immediate circle on that one night. It would have taken hours to work through the list of prayer concerns for extended family and close friends; and then on to the needs of church family and our rural community. And there I sat. Navel-gazing.
How do we keep from focusing all of our time and energy on ourselves? How do we fight navel-gazing?
The answer boils down to surrender. Starting every morning laying our day planners before the Lord. Our responsibilities and plans must always be positioned under the authority of Christ, our hearts willing to change direction at any point, responding to His call to lay self down and love Him by serving others.
Sometimes that may only require a moment to acknowledge what someone else is going through with a prayer or word of encouragement. But sometimes the required response blows the lid plumb off our plans for the day. Or week. Or even a season. If ministering to others is done under submission to the Lord, through the direction of His Spirit, He will provide the energy, time and help to deal with the crucial things our responsibilities require.
For those of you wired like me, this comes with a word of caution: you cannot do it all. Wisdom and maturity are required to know when God is asking versus others demanding; to say “no” to the latter and a hearty “yes” to the former. The struggle is worthwhile to grow in this discernment. It is hard. God directed decisions will come with judgement from others that you’re “not doing what you should be doing”. And a continual wrestling match with self that screams “But what about me?”
As we strive to be in sync with God and sensitive to His voice, how others judge and how much your flesh screams will matter less and less. And more and more, you will reap the treasure of joy as you live in obedience to His sovereignty over your days, lending your heart and hand, to a fellow traveller encountering their difficult path.
Photo by Ben White, Unsplash
