Does your past ever haunt you? Are memories impossible to erase that crop up and shake you to the core, threatening to take your heart and mind on a bad road trip?

Driving down the interstate toward our vacation destination, I found my turn at the wheel to be a stretch of road that rolled through some beautiful hills and valleys. Deep greens of the surrounding pine woods stood in contrast to the clear blue skies. Flocks of geese honked overhead, escorting us south. The rolling view was so peaceful and lovely it might have been a clip from a commercial that beckoned to get away from it all.

Without warning, the rolling hills started to climb and descend some steep grades and the tension mounted. For we were not on the road alone. Cruising along with us were endless semi trucks, racing to keep up with demands of schedules, delivery deadlines, and strong desires to be home.

The weight of those trailers and the urgency of their mission sent them barreling down the steep hills. I found myself looking in my rearview mirror more than on the road ahead. All I could see were fast approaching shiny, silver grills that threatened to swallow our vehicle whole. There is no “out of the way” when you’re trapped in a caravan of semis. White knuckling the steering wheel, my eyes darted from the speedometer to the rearview mirror to the road ahead. After miles of this tension I needed to get out of the semi craziness and off of the rearview mirror highway.

There are times in life we’re staring more in the rearview mirror at our past than living in our present. We find ourselves holding our breath, scared to death that a memory or past situation is going to catch up and crush us in its path.

Been there. Brandishing a specific event, the enemy continually harassed me, bringing it to my mind and whispering, “You’re not worthy. God can’t love you with “that” in your past. Shame, shame, shame.” And I found myself staring into the rearview mirror, horrified and afraid. I had asked forgiveness, hadn’t I Lord? Does that still define me? That was years ago, why does it still cling to me?

One afternoon, I did a strange yet simple thing. Staring into that rearview mirror, I found myself pulled down, chased by the weight of that memory. I took a small piece of paper and wrote what preyed on my mind. Sitting at the kitchen table, the paper in one hand and a match in the other, I laid it before the Lord, asking His forgiveness for perhaps the hundredth time; then lit the match and watched the fire burn it away. Gone. Nothing but a tiny pile of ashes. 

Every future moment the enemy started his whispering taunts, I pointed to that kitchen table experience declaring that it had been dealt with through the grace and forgiveness of my loving Father. His purifying fire had burned it away from me. It was gone. With a sideways smirk at the enemy, I snarled, “Go hiss somewhere else. I am confident and secure here in my Father’s hands.” Then rejoiced as he slunk away muttering to himself.

When something from our past pushes anxiety in our today, we need to pull off the highway with Christ, unloading our angst, describing the ghost from our past that is tracking us down. Staying in His presence until the spiritual reality can sink into our minds and hearts that He has seen our tears of regret and we are forgiven. (Micah 7:19) That He has held us close in those moments of deep pain and hurt and His healing is certain. (Psalm 147:3) That there is nothing in our past that can separate us from His love. (Romans 8:35) That He has our back. And our front. We are under His protection. (Psalm 139:5) Once these truths sink into our souls, we can get back on our journey, focusing on our present, at complete peace with our past.